Recently, I had a conversation with my Accountability Buddy (which is someone who holds me accountable). I wanted to know how do they keep going and pushing even when they don’t want to? I explained that there are many times when I feel tired and not in the mood to do anything productive.
Our conversation lasted maybe 30 to 45 minutes. They shared with me their own story putting forward a solution so simple that you’ll slap yourself for not thinking of it.
It’s all about knowing your why, knowing your goals and envisioning your future.
I looked back at a time when I had stopped dreaming and I didn’t really know what direction I was going in. When I was younger I had a very clear goal, but with time I realised what I thought I wanted really wasn’t what I wanted and I forgot my why. I never noticed and would say things to myself that gave me an excuse to not face myself and my short comings. I was stuck in tunnel mode, only seeing what was in front of me.
My Accountability Buddy said something to me that opened my eyes immediately.
“You want to be free.”
They gave the perfect example that showed my value system. I enjoy freedom and independence. Therefore everything I do, is towards achieving that.
We spent the rest of the time talking about my goals, so that I could envision the end of the road, that each time I don’t want to be productive I can have in the back of my mind that picture. My mirrors and walls are covered in phrases that keep me going, a vision board that I see daily.
2018 I refocused, rediscovered my passions, my value systems have become more aligned with who I am and want to be. I am conscious of my desires and ambitions. I did so by spending a period of a time, forcing myself to confront the thoughts and ideas in my head. To spend the time getting to know who I was and who I wanted to be. It is so important to cut out the distracting voices in your head and around you so you can hear what your voice inside is saying.
We know what we want to achieve, but a lot of times we are standing in our own way. Whether it is because we are too distracted, aren’t focused, or are insecure- what ever it is…. you are what is holding you back.
Every day is a new opportunity and a new beginning. Changing your mindset can be life altering, but it’s not easy. Finding a slogan or mantra for your life that motivates and drives you takes time and introspection.
Here are a few tips that have helped me move forward with my journey:
I journal at least 3x a week. My journal reviews my days, my ideas and thought processes. My journal is a conversation with myself so I leave out negative thoughts I might have about myself, others or things. I confront my insecurities and encourage myself in my journal. I end each entry with a list of what I’m grateful for and a todo list that has broad headings with no real timeline.
Free writing is what I do when I am unable to process the thoughts in my head. I take a pen and start writing, I don’t think about it. As the thoughts come I pen them not second guessing or mulling over them. Many of my posts are edited free written projects.
Spend time with yourself.
Sign off and spend time alone. Many of us are uncomfortable being alone. It’s a wonderful thing, you really can get to know yourself. Sometimes I just look in the mirror and ask myself questions. When I’m conflicted or need to make a decision I ask myself out loud “What do you want?” and 9/10 times I already know the answer.
Each day I spend time alone with myself, I find the perfect time is when I’m on my commute and right before bed.
Step back a bit
It’s so easy to get caught up in life and just do everything by rote. Take time out to really bring things into perspective and look at the whole picture. You can write/ draw it out on blank paper or simply think about it. Take a look at yourself as if you’re a third person observer. Ask yourself: Is this job going to take me where I need to go? Are the people around me bringing me forward? Am I learning and growing? Am I wasting my time? Answer those questions and others truthfully, many times we already know we just don’t want to confront our truths.
Put yourself first.
You cannot give from an empty bucket, prioritise yourself and make the commitment to improve who you are as an individual.
Get an Accountability Buddy
Have someone who will keep you accountable, or a group where you meet and go over the last few weeks and check your progress. A lot of us aren’t intrinsically motivated and it’s very difficult to make that sudden switch. While you work on becoming your own accountability buddy get a friend or family member who you trust and has your best interest at heart to help keep you on track.
None of this is easy, but it is possible. This blog post touches the surface, as I go along I hope to explore this topic more and write about it in more detail. I imagine I’m not alone in how unproductive I feel at times, with that in mind, what helps me can possibly be a help to others!
Tell me your slogan/ mantra that keeps you going in the comments below!
Samantha C. Johnson.